Reality Check

    The fantasy of moving in with your significant other and waking up to “Mr. Right” on a daily may seem enticing to most. And at first glance, it’s a great way for you to show him/her that you’re committed. Lord knows, in these hard economic times (we blame everything on the economy these days) we’re all looking for any means necessary to save some change. And if you’re thinking shacking up to save money on rent, food and utilities is the answer to your prayers, guess what? You need to guess again!!!

   Let’s weigh some of the pros and cons to this situation. Pro: guaranteed “buddy loving” on demand. Con: Boredom when that routine gets stale and you’re tired of faking satisfaction. Pro: in-house personal chef. Con: you still haven’t learned how to cook yet. Pro: You’ll learn how to compromise and get good practice at being a housewife. Con: he ain’t planning on marrying yo a**. Hell, some of yall have been dating your significant others for weeks, months, even years and still can’t get promoted from “baby mama” or “home girl”.

Long gone are the days of traditional courtship, where young men and women lived with their parents until saying the big “I Do.” Today, we think of shacking up as a necessary step in the process of dating that will hopefully lead us to marriage. But honey, you need to stop kidding yourself!!!!

  

 I remember my EX telling me “I would never consider marrying anyone I have not lived with.” (His words not mine). “I need to try it, before I buy it” Needless to say, now he’s an EX with a big exclamation mark, living with his new girlfriend…. sampling the goods before closing the sale.

   Too many of us are serving up the milk warm without the down payment on the cow. But I’ll be damned if I’m anywhere acting like a “wifey,” cooking and cleaning, making myself available to wait on anyone hand and foot without a change in my last name and a healthy size rock on my finger to match. You know he ain’t gon leave cuz he knows he got it good. But, he aint marrying you, cuz yall already doing the married thang. He’s thinking, “Why do we need a legal document to describe our living situation?”

   Call me old school if you want to, but my milk is not up for negotiation. I got things I’m looking forward to when I get married. Everything comes with a price and my price for those benefits are a ring and title.

    According to Columbia University Research, those who live together before signing the dotted line are least likely to marry each other. This doesn’t always apply to EVERYONE who shacks up but research also suggest that those who have shacked up and eventually marry are more likely to get divorced than their counterparts who don't move in together until marriage.

   So… I say all of that to say, shacking up may seem lovely initially, but it usually doesn’t offer or guarantee any proof of stability (the title of wife) or happiness. If becoming a “baby mama” is on your list of things to do in life… go head. Be a fool if you to. I’ll watch from the sidelines and laugh all-the-way to the altar.

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